For Every Season
by LetitiaRichards
Summary: Alone in his retirement, Jack reflects on the past and, in particular, a friendship he’d sacrificed in the line of duty.


_Hi everyone - I'm sure by now you all believed I'd fallen off the face of the planet, but RL has served some real doozies to my family and me lately. We got flooded back in April, but the house is getting back to normal and now that I'm back on line I'm posting this short story for you all to read - and hopefully enjoy._

"**For Every Season..."**

By LetitiaRichards

Category: Angst, Romance.

Season: Future.

Spoilers: Nothing specific.

Pairings: Jack/Sam of course.

Summary: Alone in his retirement, Jack reflects on the past and, in particular, a friendship he'd sacrificed in the line of duty.

A/N: Special thanks go to my wonderful Beta, Cole J, for all her help in ironing out the mistakes and smoothing the rough edges to improve the story. Hugz to you my friend.

Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate SG-1 or the characters. No copyright infringements intended. Just borrowing the characters for a little fun and entertainment. Also no copyright infringements were intended for use of the title of this short story and the words to the Byrds catchy song.

Jack O'Neill eased his aging, aching and rather stiff body down into the chair at the end of the dock, releasing a quiet sigh of relief as it took the weight off his sore knees. He'd always had a problem with those particular joints, but this had worsened since his retirement up here at his cabin. Unfortunately, remaining mostly sedentary behind a desk for several years had taken its toll and not only on his waistline, his knees had stiffened up considerably from inactivity. So, as soon as he'd stepped down, he'd decided to take long walks around his lake and property and to make repairs when he'd seen the need in the hope that the exercise would help improve his mobility.

There were quite a few jobs that had needed to be done, too, but with all the years spent at the SGC and then in Washington, he'd had very little time in which to do them. And now that he had the time, his body was less than willing and able to accomplish the tasks. It was a no-win situation. It was all his own fault, for he could hardly blame anyone else for his refusing to allow them to replace his knee joints when he'd gone to DC. But, being a stubborn SOB, he'd waived away the offer of treatment and so now he was paying for his obstinacy. One walk around the lake and he was wishing for a lot more than new knees. He was just getting too damn old - and crotchety! Wanting to turn back the clock wasn't something that he could have ordered - even if he had worn three stars on each shoulder.

Letting out a deep sigh, he looked over the still, calm water of his small "pond", as he preferred to call it, and could see the reflections of the trees and clouds around him. Now that he'd retired, he could and would allow his mind to drift, remembering the things he'd more often than not refused to dwell on for longer than a brief moment when he was just a plain old "colonel".

When he'd first mentioned to his old friends of his impending retirement, they tried to warn him that he'd be bored inside a month, but it hadn't happened that way at all - if anything, he'd actually been enjoying his time here. The old place was just so peaceful and had worked wonders on his tattered, battle-weary soul. There were so many personal memories – including some that he'd fought against, which served to tamp down the urge to discuss issues with a certain member of his team because they'd still had a job to do, but now...? Now he had to time to think about anything that crossed his mind, like the good people he'd worked alongside who were either lost or lying dead far, far away on a distant planet, somewhere up there among the stars of the night sky. He could remember each and every one of them.

He recalled their names, their faces, and even their families; the loved ones they'd left behind and to whom he had written the standard, innocuous letter informing them that either Tom, Dick, Harry or Jane wouldn't be coming home any more - even if most of them would never have the comfort of knowing the awful truth. Some of those poor unsuspecting relatives didn't even have the luxury of burying the body of their husband, wife, son, daughter, brother, sister, uncle, aunt or whatever. With no hope of bringing home a dead comrade, he'd been the one to issue the now standing order stating that, "A deceased teammate must be shot three times with a Zat to ensure that an enemy cannot revive them and use the knowledge against Earth in the future".

It had been a hard decision at the time, but one that he'd really had no choice in making, and one he hadn't wanted to dwell on, particularly knowing full well that one day it could have been Carter or Daniel, or even Teal'c out there that might not have returned. How he'd hated being "The Man". He'd done it though; for all of five years he'd wielded nothing more than a pen from behind a desk, signing his name on pieces of paper that either confirmed, condoned, congratulated or condemned and he'd had enough, thank you very much.

They'd given him yet another star, but he hadn't needed the parking place, instead, he'd been assigned a chauffeur to drive him around during his last year or two of serving Uncle Sam. So, here he was two years into his retirement, after gaining the three stars that he'd never imagined in his wildest dreams decorating his own uniform, and he was very much alone - and for that he only had himself to blame.

Teal'c had returned to Dakara to join the free Jaffa who now revered him for his part in the downfall of the Goa'uld. Daniel had settled down with Vala - of all people - which made Jack continually wonder if the woman had worked some kind of hocus-pocus weird spell over his friend. Personally, the woman drove him nuts and he was glad that Landry had been CO of the SGC when she'd joined them. And then there was Sam Carter. The last he'd heard, she was still working hard at the SGC. She'd wanted to retire along with him two years ago, but he couldn't allow her to give up her career. He hadn't allowed it when they'd first acknowledged their mutual attraction and he couldn't allow it when he'd stepped down. Her work was far more important than he was. The SGC - heck, the world - had still needed her expertise and he was damned if he was going to agree to her giving up everything just for his own personal desires.

Jack smiled in fond remembrance of her as he tossed the fishing line with a flick of his wrist, watching in satisfaction as it plopped into the water. The gentle, little ripples it caused radiated outwards and he sat mesmerised by the effect as he reflected on the past. The last time he'd seen her was at the SGC just before he'd retired. It was at her promotion party, and well deserved it had been, too, not to mention long overdue. _Brigadier General Samantha Carter - it had a nice ring about it_, he'd thought, and he knew without a doubt that Sam deserved the promotion. He'd spent a great day with his old friends before they'd all parted and gone their separate ways that night.

With another deep sigh, he shook his head, trying not to dwell on what might have been, and reeled in his line once more, dropping it to the wooden deck. He flicked open the cooler by his side and helped himself to a chilled bottle of beer. After a couple of deep swallows, he placed it down onto the planking beside him and picked up his fishing pole again, ready to flip the line back into the murky, fishless depths. That was when he heard the unmistakable crunch of tyres on gravel along his private access road.

He replaced the pole on the deck and stood slowly, turning to see who it was that had driven up to his isolated location and was invading his privacy. A small but gleaming, brand new 4 x 4 appeared from behind the massive rose bushes that hid part of his driveway and stopped when it came to the end of the road. Jack recognised the driver straight away, despite never having seen the car before. He started towards the visitor, coming to a halt just a few feet from the vehicle's hood.

Dressed in jeans and a close fitting T-shirt, Sam Carter slipped easily from the vehicle. She couldn't help the smile that instantly formed on her face when she spotted Jack coming over to investigate her sudden appearance. Then he stood there, tall and as handsome as ever, causing her to overlook the more obvious signs of his ageing. His dark eyes were full of curiosity and a little frown of puzzlement creased his brow deepening that cute little vertical line between his eyes. He smiled at her nonetheless and, as always, her heart fluttered with euphoria, followed by a slight blush.

"Carter!" he sounded surprised, but pleased, too.

"Sir." Sam bit her lip and dropped her head in sudden confusion and frustration. She hadn't meant to call him that, it had just naturally come out. "Sorry...Jack. Habit." She shrugged deprecatingly.

Jack ignored it, as he was still wondering why she had come so far to visit him. Not that she wasn't welcome - it really was good to see her again.

"So, what are you doing out here, Carter?"

"Sam!" she retorted, having fun at playing his own game.

One corner of his mouth turned upwards slightly, acknowledging the hit.

"Okay...Sam. What brings you to my neck of the woods?" he relented.

"I needed an answer...Jack. I need to know if there'll ever be anything between us?"

Jack's eyebrows shot up in surprise. The last thing he'd expected was to be asked such a direct question - especially when it meant talking openly about his feelings.

"Do you really need me to answer that?" he asked, wondering if all those years of working so closely and hiding the fact that he truly, deeply, loved her, had meant as much to her as it had to him.

Sam studied his features for an uncomfortable few moments before seeing the truth for what it was.

"No, I guess I don't."

"What about you?" he asked, suddenly needing to know exactly where she stood.

They both wanted and needed some sort of closure, even if it meant saying goodbye.

"I think you already know how I feel, Jack. I gave you my answer two years ago, but you refused to acknowledge it." She wasn't angry with him over his insistence that she carry on working at the SGC. She could have done that and had him, too, but he'd said he didn't want to start tongues wagging so soon after 

his retirement. It wouldn't have looked good on her record, never mind his. Enough was enough though, and she'd adequately hidden this for longer than necessary. Things have changed. They were both older and time was running short.

"My feelings towards you have never changed, Sam. I told you I'd always be there...here for you. I meant it, too!"

"That's exactly the problem, Jack. Which is it? Back there in Colorado or here in Minnesota, because neither of us can be in two places at once!"

Jack rocked backwards and forwards on his heels, turning over her words in his mind. His hands were still stuffed into his pockets, but his eyes held hers steadily, and Sam felt herself drowning in the dark pools waiting for his answer. For a long while, nothing broke the ensuing silence and, not willing to let this opportunity pass by, Sam prompted him further.

"It's been another two long years, Jack. I don't want to wait any longer. I'm tired of waiting." She took several steps towards him, though his only reaction was to remove his hands from his pockets and yank his sweater down away from his neck as if it were choking him.

"What about the SGC?" he blurted, saying anything to avoid the issue. He was good at evasive tactics, after all, even so it had him questioning her reasoning.

"They'll be just fine, Jack. I don't go off-world now; you know that."

He sucked in a huge breath and dropped his head, studying his feet for a minute before looking back up at her.

"So, to what do I owe this...," as he waved a languid hand between them, indicating the both of them. "Visit...other than...?" he left off unable to put voice to his own chaotic thoughts. "Business or...whatever?"

Sam eyed him warily, knowing he felt uncomfortable with the way the conversation was going, but she held his eyes with hers, trying to see how he would take her news.

"It's strictly "whatever" this time, Jack," she answered smoothly seeing him wince slightly.

"Ah," he sighed. "You still want to...ah...?"

"Yes, I do, Jack! Are you going to send me away this time, too?"

He shook his head, telling himself to stop beating about the bush. They both deserved to get this out into the open.

"I would never...," he stopped, at her incredulous expression, rethinking quickly. "Okay. No, I'm not going to send you away this time. Not if this is what you really want."

"Do you want me, Jack? Because this isn't just about me. It's about us. Both of us!"

"I know! And I do. Believe me I've wanted nothing more for a long, long time. I was...thinking of you," he babbled, waving his hand around as always to express himself.

"Good, then you can help me unpack."

"You're up here on vacation?"

"Not exactly." Sam smirked as she turned back to the car.

"What? Wait a minute! What's that supposed to mean?" he asked hurrying to catch up to her. They met a few feet from the trunk, when Jack grabbed her arm forcing her to turn to look at him once more.

"I'm retired, Jack. Didn't you hear about that?" She was surprised he hadn't. Landry had normally kept him up to date with the latest SGC gossip.

"No!" he gasped in stunned surprise.

He also sounded a little miffed, but Sam still smiled at that little pout of his. He just looked so adorable when he did that. She stepped closer to him, her eyes boring into him as she narrowed them predatorily.

Jack gulped, swallowing the lump in his throat with difficulty before he recalled that he'd wanted to see that same look in her eyes for far too many years. Now, he knew that he would no longer need to worry about how it would look to anyone else...they were both retired - apparently.

He started forward, too. And met her about half way. They both stopped, inches apart, looking into the other's eyes. Bright blue searched dark brown – each seeking reassurance as well as permission.

"Can you really forgive me?" she asked. A brief moment of regret flickered in her eyes.

"For what?"

"For Pete?" she winced, biting on her lip again, so full of doubts.

He shrugged, unable to drag his eyes away from hers.

"You need me to?"

"I... Yes."

"Of course, I do. What's there to forgive?" he assured her.

She smiled, feeling more sure of herself again and was relieved to know that he wasn't holding her brief fling with another man against her.

"And I also forgive you for Narim, Martouf, Orlin... Were there others?" he questioned, trying to hide his amusement, but she sniggered anyway and playfully batted his arm. Growing serious, he added, "You had to know that I'd still be here waiting, didn't you?"

Sam nodded, a small blush flushing her cheeks.

"I'm so sorry, Jack. I never meant to hurt you."

"That's in the past, Sam. Don't dredge it all up again."

"I don't want to, but I really need to know how you felt about it?" she sighed sadly, wondering if he would still reject her because she knew damn well he'd been badly hurt over the whole idea of her proposed marriage to Pete.

Jack's hands came out to take hold of hers, snagging them easily.

"I've always loved you, Sam. Loved you enough to wait until you decided when the time was right. Yeah, it hurt a little...okay, a lot, but I also wanted to see you happy. I'm not the best person you could have found. I'm no spring chicken, ya know!"

"I know," she replied with a smile, tossing back his own "answer-for-everything" phrase. "It doesn't matter, Jack. It's you and I realised a long time ago that you're all I've ever wanted."

Sam looked down at their joined hands and seeing Jack gently stroking his thumb over her flesh sent goosebumps rippling all over her skin. She couldn't keep the shiver of expectation from escaping at his touch.

Long fingers then suddenly released her hand and traced the line of her jaw before gently, slowly pulling her face up to meet with his. He brushed a sweet, tender kiss over her lips. Sam closed her eyes in pure ecstasy and opened up for him.

He plunged in, delving, duelling, claiming her for himself, knowing that now was their time and Sam gave it all back to him – every touch, sigh and desire. His arms snaked round her and drew her ever closer, while hers too encircled him, bringing herself tightly up against the hard planes of his body.

Both pulled back at the same time to gasp for air in amazement. Sam knew immediately what she had been missing from her other relationships. It was this. It was the way he touched her...the way he held her...the way they understood each other and now...the way he'd kissed her. This was Jack. He was her Jack at long last.

"You're not going back?" he worried, hoping he hadn't just blown his chance.

"No, Jack. I belong here now. The waiting is finally over."

"Jus' checking," he said, grinning down at her with a wicked gleam in his eye.

"And you're okay with this?" she asked, still needing to be sure of his feelings - or maybe her own?

"What do you think?" he sighed, pulling her close again, their lips clashing, while he was trying to swallow her tonsils. The kiss was passionate, needy, and yet sweet and tender all at once. Jack broke off quickly, with a soft groan, to bury his head in her neck. He knew that if he didn't put a stop to it right there and then, it would inevitably lead to "other" things. Things that, although wonderful and fulfilling, he didn't want to rush into out in the open. Wanting to start their relationship slowly, giving them time to get to know each other properly. The best bit would come later - and it would be all the more enjoyable for the wait.

He pulled back again, but held onto her shoulders, keeping her at arms length, looking down on her as she smiled dreamily and it was all because of him.

Looking up at him, Sam couldn't help but feel that perhaps he'd changed his mind after all. Evidently the concern she'd felt showed on her face because Jack then smiled reassuringly.

Without another word, he released her and went to grab her bags from the car. Sam picked up the lighter ones and followed him up to the main door. He placed her luggage onto the porch by the entrance and turned to face her again taking her bags from her hands and putting them down alongside the others. He couldn't wipe the grin off his face. He'd never felt happier, younger even, since having Charlie all those years ago.

He took her hands in his and pressed a feather-light kiss on her lips before folding her into his arms once more. He nibbled on her lobe then whispered into her ear something that made every painful memory in the past be forgotten - and hopefully would make everything from then on to be just wonderful.

"Welcome home, Sam. This is our time."

_...To ev'rything  
Turn, turn, turn  
There is a season  
Turn, turn, turn  
And a time for every purpose under heaven_

A time to gain, a time to lose  
A time to bend, a time to sew  
A time to love, a time to hate  
A time for peace...I swear its not too late

To ev'rything  
Turn, turn, turn  
There is a season  
Turn, turn, turn  
And a time for every purpose under heaven...

The End.


End file.
